Day Three. Goodbye Cruel World.

For the next few hours, I could barely breathe. The truck traffic was heavy and I was trying to not go too fast and stay in the right lane, in case I had to bail out and get off the road fast. The problem was there were so many trucks, going so fast, that if the car shut off, I would be killed.

I have never been so frightened and felt more alone in my entire life.

I didn't listen to the radio, I just felt the subtle pulses in the car when I'd stop accelerating for a moment or tried to throttle up a hill. For awhile the car would seem fine, then I'd feel the pulsing again. I kept chanting: "It's just bad gas, I'm going to be ok. It's just bad gas, I'm going to be ok."

I couldn't take it any more, so I called Sam. I called to tell him Good bye in case I died! Maybe you think I'm an idiot, but with everything that has happened in my life, I could die any second. I didn't want to scare Sam, but I know I did. I balled my head off and Sam vowed to go after the jerk BMW dealer in Davenport, along with BMW-USA. He told me not to worry, but worry I did.

Shortly after my big cry, Mary Ellen called to check in. I told her what had happened and she was terrific. We talked so much, that I started to relax a bit. I was less than one hour from Des Moines-if I could only get there alive!!!!

The engine seemed to be operating rather well and I felt almost human as I took the exit for the Fairfield Inn & Suites in West Des Moines, Iowa. I parked the car and felt about 500 lbs lighter. I was greeted by Chris, the manager, who helped me unload the car. I decided to take everything out because my next stop was going to be the BWM Dealership the next morning.

I got myself settled, had some dinner and watched a few minutes of "the debate," then hit the pillow.

At about 4:30am I woke up in excruciating pain. The period that started on Monday, then vanished, returned these days later with a vengance. I took a mouthful of pain killers and went back to bed. I had to get up in a few hours! I wanted to sleep for a month!!!!!!

Would the Des Moines BMW take care of my car? Would I live to tell about it? I didn't even care.

I just wanted to be HOME and in my own bed, but I was 1400 miles away. What a jerk I am.